SYEN の 人生 。。。25 以后的天空

Have you ever have such feeling? I had it many times!!
If this is about work, you can still get a new job and forget the mistake.
What if this is from the person who u care most?
You will feel sad definitely and wordless because you can’t do anything on it.Come on…these are past tense….

When I try to think on another side >> Is there any mistake/past my friends or colleagues did which I still remember until now?
To be honest, the answer is YES.
I used to forget things fast especially sad one.If I keep remembering the sad incident that means it is serious one.

Anyway I would still say everyone have diferent perception on the “mistake” and “past”.
Maybe he/she think the mistake/past is kind of serious wherelse I think another way round.
OR
Maybe i thinnk the mistake I did or my past is just nothing then I would just get angry to myself…Why he/she just can’t let go?Why I did such mistake? Why I am so stupid last time?
Do I have to CRY?

OR beg for forgiveness and forgetness??

In the end, I still can’t do anything because I can’t control human thinking….

=.=” … oh shit!!!now I think all these are just nonsense… “FAI WAH”!!!

One month did not update my blog ler!!!
Been very busy with 2 business trips and sick for about 10 days!
First time having fever which took 10 days to recover and make me even forgot about my work.

I got fever right after came back from Jakarta with all the H1N1 symptoms like:
fever,flu, cough, headache,body acne EXCEPT hard to breath.
On day two, my father brought me to General Hospital for H1N1 checking(5 hours waiting), yet the doctor only gave me a blood test but not throat swat. She asked me take as much rest I could and go to emergency if my situation getting serious.

Then continuous 3 days no improvement as I still having high fever around 38-39 °C.
On 5th day, I decided to go back to GH emergency to ask H1N1 checking because I really worry that I might already infected it.
Yet the person in charge at emergency told me to queue at the high fever zone to see normal doctor again.
I really angry as I don’t see they understand my worry and let me do H1N1 checking.
Then my friends suggested me to go Sg Buloh Hospital, there my friend fetched me there and against waited another 5 hours.
Same situation happened again where the doctor did not allow me to take throat swat, she said I was not qualified for it yet as more focus will be given to old folk, small children and people who is having heart attack or asthma only.

I don’t understand why don’t they just put a big notice board saying: You are allow to do throat swat only if you feel hard to breath!! So people there don’t need to spend few hours waiting for nothing!!!!!
I can’t even do the H1N1 checking at private hospital and normal clinic as it is controlled by government.
If the cost of the throat swat is expensive that government cannot effort to pay for every sick people, why they don’t allow us to pay and have the checking!!
At that moment, i really don’t understand why I am staying in such a country where I can’t feel secure at all.
If I was not just back from other countries, having all the symptoms, I won’t spent 5 hours just to wait for the check.

Today is the 10th day of my fever, I feel much better with body temperature around 36.8-37.1 °C.
Thank god that I am finally recover and I am not affected H1N1!!!!
Really could not imagine if i really affected H1N1 and i cant get a check on it at government hospital.
What is the point of our government urge people to do checking at government hospital when you have all the symptoms???
Is this also the cause of why the number of people dying because of H1N1 is increasing in Malaysia too?

People always say this but I personally don’t like to put any hope on anything.
Not that I am having negative thinking again, but just thought things I always wish for will not COME TRUE most of the time. Sounds funny?
NO…. it really happens to me….
I never think that I could have high achievement in my career yet I got it without expectation after my hard work.
I always hope I should get into a relationship, yet it never happens.
I always hope I could marry a rich man so I don’t need to work that hard, it also never happens.
Then the car plate WSY which I wanting it so much, thinking there is no way to get it in my entire life. Never put any hope on it but now chances to get it is coming back Yesterday my father told me his plan on changing car…. today I suddenly think of WSY,I quickly call my father and made him to promise me, if he really wants to buy a new car, he must get WSY!!!
Although it is not my own car plate, yet it belongs to my family. I am happy enough.
If can get WSY 1209, i will be very happy……………
Oops, dont hope else it wont come true

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Vietnam Ho Chi Minh…. I am comming tomorrow!! Will be going there 3D2N for WORK… :-S
More photos on food and hows the city will be upload after i back…

I found out i seldom post my own photos on blog… Then i found all my old photos from my ext hard disc and wrote this special post.It is like a transmition of me, my documentary or my hair styles since since year 2004….. whatever it is, just want to share it here …
Oct 2004 @ genting ~ having FAT face~

May 2005 @ Adrian’s wedding dinner with my best friend Jessie

Dec 2005 @ the curve celebrated my birthday

April 2006 @ taken at home with new hair cut (short fringe)

May 2006 @ taken at home with my friend’s Mac book….
mac web cam got such mirror functions

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Yesterday(SAT) just went to MV for this movie: HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
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There are few stories on a group of twenty- and thirty somethings adults, story about how’s their relationship and how to read the signs of the opposite sex….
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Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin) just wants a man who calls.
Beth (Jennifer Aniston) wonders if she should just call it off.
Neil (Ben Affleck) thinks is ok not to get married.
Janine’s (Jennifer Connelly) not sure if she should trust her husband.
Ben (Bradley Cooper) can’t really trust himself alone with Anna.
Anna (Scarlett Johansson) can’t decide between 2 men.
Conor (Kevin Connolly) still thinks he can have her.
Mary (Drew Barrymore) just needs a straight man.
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Actually I had gone through most of the situations in the movie.
~Met a nice guy unexpected without well dress up, yet it is so “CLICK” with strong feeling that he could be my Mr Right and yet he is married. I am too late and I don’t want to be third party.
~Met a caring, financial stable and career type man… yet just don’t have the strong chemical feelings on him. Can’t make myself commit into a relationship for him.
~Met a new friend, exchanged contacts, looking forward for his calls or emails.
Used to disappointed yet didn’t desperate till what GiGi did in movies.
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Something which is quit true from the movie~
~.Even if you are married yet you might not trust your husband… So what’s the point of getting marry then?
~Some couple split off just because they already not in the SNYC situation, for example: one wish to marry yet another half don’t want.
~If a guy has interests on you, no matter how far you stay, how busy he is, he will still find a time to date you. We(gals) don’t need to do anything..he will…
~If a guy already doesn’t has any interest on you, he will use all lame excuses just to DUMP/get rid of you. No matter what u did, how u beg, his heart is just not into you.
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So what’s now~ if the guy just not that into me, I will just treat him as a passby people~ who cares…..

It had been some times I don’t do FULL DAY coding in my daily work. It was simply because there are non-stop interruptions on YM, meetings, discussion, emails, and bugs checking for juniors. Past two days I finally got the chance to try it out again as my boss passed me an urgent project where I could excuse myself for all interruptions. I really feel I am like a superwoman, keep coding non-stop and even enjoyed till my colleagues have to YELL at me. Also at the same time, I managed to solve all juniors’ problems in just few minutes (not that I am smart, just because I experienced the same problems before)
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It is actually tiring, have to go home late with tired body and dry eyes.Sometimes even continue work at home after bath and dinner. But i still like it deeply because of the self satisfaction. (of course not everyday like this~)
To be honest, being a programmer is really not that easy…..
Non programmer will never understand !!
-why the programmer can look into a page with millions words or logs with black screen
-why the programmer can work non-stop
-what makes the programmer even work on weekend just to solve a non urgent problem
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All these were because of “self satisfactions” and “challenging” make them keep working.
I really miss the coding days.
I am quit sure my boss will allow me to handle more coding than management work (well at least equally 50-50) since I had highlighted to him.I am sure he will read this too ….

Yesterday (Friday) was an extremely busy day for me
Wake up very late, rushed to Cyberjaya office in 25 minutes, lost in Putrajaya after lunch at Dengkil, went to data centre for some installation, and rushed back KL for company quarterly outing- Saisaki Japanese Buffet and movie Watchmen.
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What I wish to highlight here was there was two men commented on me on the same thing in a day! What a coincidence! What surprises me was one of them just knowing me for about one month plus while the other is a mature married man who gained a lot experience on life and. What made this young man able to comment on me so correctly? Perhaps it is just too obvious to feel it from conversation or he is strong in understand one person personality or he is over mature?
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