Yesterday (Friday) was an extremely busy day for me
Wake up very late, rushed to Cyberjaya office in 25 minutes, lost in Putrajaya after lunch at Dengkil, went to data centre for some installation, and rushed back KL for company quarterly outing- Saisaki Japanese Buffet and movie Watchmen.
.
What I wish to highlight here was there was two men commented on me on the same thing in a day! What a coincidence! What surprises me was one of them just knowing me for about one month plus while the other is a mature married man who gained a lot experience on life and. What made this young man able to comment on me so correctly? Perhaps it is just too obvious to feel it from conversation or he is strong in understand one person personality or he is over mature?
.
Actually they said I have too many negative thinkings whereby it actually make myself suffering and also stress people around me. And I also think a lot and taking care too much. I must learn to let go and relax else I will get burst soon.
.
Well, I admitted that I used to think a lot and I always want to perform the best most of the time. I thought this is the way to make myself the better person. I really never notice that all my thinking was NEGATIVE and I also don’t know my behaviour stressing people around me. I just don’t like to give myself high hope so that I won’t get disappointed easily. Actually I am scare of losing. Those sentences keep turning around my mind while driving back to KL….
Actually I have to lead my colleague on using the MAJU highway to go back KL. After paying toll, I keep speeding and then suddenly found out my colleagues wasn’t behind me at all! They are far away behind me. Then I slow down to wait them….
.
Suddenly it is like a blink in my mind where I found out I used to speed or work hard whenever there is a chance. I never really look around clearly on people and environment around me. In fact past two years I really worked very hard to achieve what I want in career and I feel myself getting mature too. I learned to be tough, not easy to give up and independent. However the stresses never stop existing, I was given higher position yet also more responsibilities. I also keep complaining about my work and doubt that how long I can stand it.
.
Now I realised the main problem is not because of work load or higher responsibilities, it was because of “me”. Regardless how many times I complained to my boss, the problem actually not solves. Even if I change new job, the problem will exist again after some time. My ex-bf did highlight to me before but he dint really told me clearly. Now I know it was because of my attitude, I am giving myself too much pressure on making myself a better person. Guess now I should learn how to slow down and relax. All this while, I actually made myself work very hard so that I don’t have time to think others. I even thought hanging out on every weekend and holidays I have is RELAX. They are only temp-relax for me where I make myself stop working for few hours only. Well….before make myself being able to manage others, I shall learn how to make myself having higher EQ and STOP negative thinking. I am happy that they let me know something which I never notice it. Thanks~